Site Administrator posted on October 21, 2010 22:14
Photo John Maney
The Softer Side of Carl, Cathy Paladino
By: Sheryl Thomas Orange/Sullivan 912 Tea Party
I don't know what it is about boys (men) and talk of their cajones. Baseball players adjust them, ten year old boys pick at them, and grown men accuse each other of not having them.
Yes, the New York gubernatorial race of 2010 has turned into a full-fledged bull fight; a male-bonding battle of testosterone. However, there is a softer side to Carl Paladino, challenger of Democrat Andrew Cuomo. I've seen it.
For all Carl's brassy talk there lurks a man who has been deeply humbled by God's hand of personal testing. It is the fires of life that build character not the visions of grandeur we set for ourselves.
Trials and loss of loved ones demand we confront our weaknesses and in the end it is not the trial itself that defines us but rather how we walk through it.
Many women have asked me how I can support a man like Carl Paladino for Governor. Just as many have said they would not have ever considered him for Governor if not for my wholehearted endorsement of him. Why? Because of his weaknesses. Yes, it is true Carl forwarded sexually explicit emails to friends and co-workers and yes, it is true he was unfaithful to his wife.
I have to admit that when the stories first leaked I was too busy running a grassroots Tea Party to have time to check out the supposed emails specifically. I usually don't look at that kind of junk. When I did I wasn't pleased. But then my husband reminded me I live in a bubble and Carl lives in the business world. Business world or not, there are no excuses for the emails. Carl has made none.
As to the affair, Carl Paladino was wrong for engaging in it. There are no excuses and again Carl has made none.
But, I chose not to focus on Carl's indiscretions. I challenge anyone who can, to throw the first stone his way. I didn't draw the line in the sand, Christ did 2000 years ago when he said, "No one is without sin."
When I say I find Carl Paladino to be a man of character people raise their eyebrows. But I mean I find strength of character in how he handled hardship and how I see him handle himself with people publicly and privately.
On March 28, 2009 Carl's 29 year old son was critically injured in a single-car accident. He died two days later on March 30th. That same day Carl confessed to his wife, of 40 years, he had fathered a child by another woman ten years earlier and that their deceased son, Patrick, had not only known of the affair but had been very fond of his father's daughter.
From my vantage point that was a defining moment for a couple completely shattered by grief. Cathy Paladino was now a woman stricken with two losses; the loss of her son and the loss of trust between her and her husband.
I admire Cathy Paladino greatly. When more self-centered women would have responded with anger, bitterness, and retribution Cathy responded with mercy.
There is a saying that "Behind every great man is a great woman". I see more than ever that simple phrase fulfilled in Cathy Paladinos gracious response to her husband. "Every child is a gift. You are a lucky man," she said. Not only has Cathy Paladino stood courageously by her husband but she has welcomed the ten year old into the family.
The loss of a loved one is difficult enough to heal through but losing loved ones to tragedy is an even deeper pit of agony to climb out of. Added to the suddenness of separation is the debilitating element of regret; words unspoken and hugs and gifts left un-given.
It is a grief that either splits your soul in two and conquers you or fuels untapped passions for greater things. The death of a child has wrecked many marriage; few can sustain the blow of infidelity too.
I do not know Cathy Paladino personally. I met her briefly on the floor of the NYC GOP convention the day her husband boldly nominated himself for Governor. It was apparent to me the family, seated quite alone from the rest of the political hysteria, was calmly in full support of Carl's decision to step out and lead the way to political reform and push back against the corrupt, open-to-insiders-only political machine.
There must be something greater in her husband Cathy sees than what we are privileged only to glimpse as we rally with him, engage in Q & A sessions, and hear as we follow Carl around the state and watch him on our TV sets.
If a marriage is strong at its core and there is mutual respect and admiration it will survive the trials. If a family unit is strong and shaped by love it will emerge through crisis, even stronger.
What I see in Carl Paladino, and by default the strong woman behind him, is courage, intelligence, sound work ethic, passion, ability to connect with people, perseverance, humility, and grit. I believe this is just what New York needs in a time of financial, social, and moral crisis. I believe the Paladino family to be just the ones to role model triumph through adversity.
Cathy Paladino speaks to me as a woman. She gives me a place to aspire to. Cathy has chosen to not define her marriage to Carl Paladino by his weaknesses but rather by those more endearing aspects of his character. I submit that New Yorkers do the same and not focus on the man Carl was but rather on the man he is becoming.
In the stage of political bull fighting, I acknowledge Carl may have the biggest cajones (metaphorically speaking) but to Cathy, I give the real "kudos" and I will be honored to have her as the first lady of the great state of New York.
~ Sheryl Thomas